Patience

On stretches of weeks like these, it seems that the only thing I'm living and working for is to F.I.R.E. A lull in motivation requires an increased level of patience with the bullshit that's constantly perpetuating in the workplace (it's like the freaking Kraken - the more you try to kill it, the larger it grows), and an added dose of naivety could certainly help in paving the way forward. 

These are times when I blame my seemingly hell bent analytical ability in calling management bullshit, and could certainly benefit from being a greenhorn believing in all that management espouses. Truth is nothing short of there being a constant sucker at the table, and if you don't know who the sucker is, it's probably you. Gone are the days I'll tell the more seasoned junior bankers that hey maybe it's actually good for us that management is doing such and such; and took on the belief that more work for you means more good experiences for your resume and character building, when all it means is the same shit repeated again, which you could probably build more experience learning about gardening (no puns intended). 

One of the few things that help with getting through phases like this would be repeating the mantra "Patience my young padawan learner, these times too shall pass. Just make the best out of what you can do and focus on the other good things going on in your life." 

It's a seemingly perpetual fight between the dark side and the light side. Oh yea Mr RB35, don't wander too deep into the dark side... Light is at the end of the tunnel. Just another 2.5 more years, like another national service duration and you'll be set for life. 

Oh well, the bullshit we feed ourselves to keep us going. Seems like I'm no different from my bosses, just different targets, that's all. *sheepish* :) 

The Limited Use of Willpower

When I was a teenager, I used to have what seems like a copious amount of willpower - waking up before 0500 to put in a good hour and a half studying and catching up with the school work; losing up to 30 kg in a short 8 months time frame, and generally just coping and adapting well to the demands that school has placed.

When I started doing investment banking as an Analyst, well I didn't really need to call on my willpower given the pervasive use of the why that I constantly dangled over the top of my head in order to keep the wheels going true. But these days, with more time in my schedule, I have to deploy a conscious and concerted effort to implement some positive initiatives that will add value to my living. Say... instead of coming back home and gorging myself on TV serials (seriously Americans make legendary entertainment products... where do they get all these creativity from??), or drinking myself silly (beer creates endorphins and leads to good time...), perhaps a bout of HIIT workout or reading up on new concepts that can help me in future life (such as natural foraging, backpacking, human physiology, etc.) might be a more productive use of my time.

And that's when I realise that by lord, my willpower (the stat that I felt was one of the highest in my hero character attributes) wasn't that high anymore. I started noticing this when I choose to fucking sleep in most of the time. Say out of 10 times when I choose to wake up early to work out, I'll do it twice. Which is pretty fucking lame...

So I did some research and realise that it's probably my job that's burning a huge amount of my willpower on a daily basis, and my brain, realising that the reserves of willpower will be required during the course of the day, decides to switch off. Or well, at times when my willpower has been totally suckered out by the daily grind, well the cold can of Tiger beer in the fridge ain't that hard to resist...

I'm still trying to figure out a useful and productive hack that I can employ for this, and have done some research around creating systems and wiring habits into the fray. I'll definitely be reading more into this area and will come back with my experience and suggestions on how to make things better. But if you guys have something that has helped you to deal with these type of situations in the past, please shout out!