I've noticed that the closer I've gotten to my targeted
"escape velocity", the stronger the rumination on the big picture
narrative of "finding meaning" at work and how work doesn't provide
much meaning to my lithe nondescript existence.
Some days I just feel like deploying the FU card, but deploying
it as a means to "retire from something" as opposed to "retire
to something" just doesn't quite make sense to my rational mind,
especially when there's no real strong push factor.
Cognizant that I actually enjoy the process of
"suffering" that has yielded practical benefits (even if it in itself
does contributes perhaps at maximum 10-20% towards success) such as being able to
accumulate this sizable amount at this stage in life - this makes it even harder
to leave if there is nothing to leave to.
This constant rumination, while possibly helpful from a
strategic standpoint, might not exactly be beneficial on a day to day basis.
What I did find helpful in my particular situation is instead to be mindful
that this is merely a thin slice of my existence, and I have many roles to play,
that includes, in no particular order of importance and in a non-exhaustive
manner:
* Being a Son;
* Being a Brother;
* Being a close confidante to a trusted group of friends;
* Being an investor;
* Being a lover;
* Being a human being;
* Being a colleague;
* Being a mentor at work and at my alma matter;
* Being a neighbor;
* Being a cousin / nephew / uncle;
* Being an acquaintance;
* Being perhaps an inspiration to a stranger;
* Being a consumer; and
* The list goes on
And while F.I.R.E could perhaps allow me to develop or find more
meaning in the list of roles above, I could perhaps, in a more sensible
fashion, not focus too much on a big picture narrative of "finding meaning
in life" by leaving my job, but perhaps actually start to be a better [son
/ brother / friend / lover] right now.
That's not to say that I should put the F.I.R.E process on
the back bench, but maybe let it run on auto-pilot like a good system should,
and then observe and tweak it from time to time to let things run its course,
and focus on the things that really matter, and focus on the overarching life
goal to find and be happy, at
the current moment, with each and every situation that life has to offer.
I truly believe that being happy is a choice, no matter what
life throws at us, and while that notion is hard to practically adopt than to
spout, I'm trying to make that work as a guiding philosophy in my life.
After all, it's easier for me to be a negative pessimist,
but that's not going to help in real life. I choose happiness, and while I'm
eager to see what the rest of 2018 will bring, I'm happy, and positively
grateful, with what I'm currently experiencing right now, at this stage.
Dear Reader, do you reckon happiness is a choice or a
circumstance?
