Saturday, 18 June 2016

Update after the hiatus

Have had a hiatus on this blog as I face a struggle on penning down thoughts that seem pretty much repetitive in context. Have had quite a bit going on in the first 6 months in pretty much all aspects of life. Best buddies getting hitched, the ever changing work environment and also some developments on the personal front took up much effort and prescience over the first six months. 

I've pretty much adopted the mindset that a good life lived probably isn't much one that is full of creature comforts nor that of enhanced hedonism, but one that is filled with continuous struggles and suffering and seeing how one responds to those moments of adversity. The dukka that permeates each and every aspect of life lends perspective to a difficult situation at work, or a difficult relationship. 

What matters the most to me presently is the overarching aim of becoming a better person in every possible way, through each experience, regardless of whether that particular experience is determined as "good" or "bad. What has definitely changed over the last couple of years is a slow but sure movement towards that of a process focus, rather than a goal focus. 

Work continues to take up most of the aforementioned struggles and suffering, and at times I do have to remind myself that this is perhaps the best way to put myself through the fire and emerge stronger and more resilient through each transaction, without thinking much of the monthly income that pads the fuck you portfolio. 

The one thing I'm grateful for is the ability to make a difference to the lives of the more junior bankers, to shape thoughts, perceptions and have some form of influence (mostly positive I hope) where they can learn something outside of just the purism of investment banking. That being said, am still grateful to have a relatively secure job despite the various waves of retrenchment that have hit close to home. Have had a couple of friends and acquaintances who lost their ricebowls over the past few months - all I hope is that they land feet up, eventually. 

Feeling at tad philosophical and pensive on this nice cool Saturday afternoon, with a relatively freed up weekend for once. Quite heavily leaning towards exploring more of the stoical philosophy and double down on the meditation as I seek to develop my capacity for equanimity and tranquility, whilst I let the portfolio and financial freedom targets take care of themselves - the best thing about this is that those are pretty much on auto-pilot as you program in the key parameters. 

A strong glimmer of hope that there's definitely much more to come over the next half of the year with the social calendar pretty much cleared up and what seems like a renewed focus over the last couple of days. Like the soccer team I have supported through the years, I try to make it a habit of ending strong (and finishing in the top 4 for champions league places... haha). 

Hope all is well with you guys out there. If it's not, just remember that it too will pass, and you'll eventually be well if you wish so. :) 

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