For the uninitiated, Hans Zimmer is one of pre-eminent composers for movie scores of all times. He's written scores for movies such as Black Hawk Down, The Dark Knight Rises, Crimson Tide, Sherlock Holmes, Inception, etc to name a few. I'm a big movie fan, and a closet fan of symphonic music given my teenage influence from playing in the band for 6 years - I'll strongly urge you to check out Hans Zimmer. You might actually like his music!
It has been a tough few weeks at the office. Since my last post, I've actually begun execution of my plan to leave the bank. Got my finances sorted out, medical check ups done, and steeled myself to pull away from the herd, without a major push factor in the way.
And when the medical results came back all good (or rather a decent baseline that I could work with), I followed through on my plan and started communicating my desire to leave the bank to my immediate supervisor and direct business head. I won't go into the intricacies of the conversations I had in this post - it'll probably be another post by itself (and I can't fathom writing in detail about that so maybe I'll just skip it in totality) or maybe I'll just skip it totally, but the bottom line is that the trigger has been pulled, the bullet is out of the gun, and boom motherf*cker there is absolutely no way back :)
At this juncture (over 2 plus weeks since I'll pulled the trigger), I'm still in a bit of a grey area in terms of leaving date, mechanics, etc and what not, and coupled by the fact that my contractual notice period is a couple of months, it's been a bit of a funky period where I know I'm gonna bounce eventually in the next few months or so, but I'm still CRANKING.
Cranking, just like a first year investment banker out of college, and it's been god knows more than eight years or so. *cues the score from Gladiator, or actually maybe a more apt scene would be Helms Deep of LOTR*
The ironic thing about this is I have had a relatively peaceful lead in to 2018, but over the last month or so, work has picked up tremendously. I find myself in the cross-hairs of leading a cross border elephant transaction that spans China, Hong Kong, Europe and Singapore, and guess who's the lead banker on the execution process? That's absolutely right Sir, yours truly.
Straddling both internal management, the junior bankers and the client, lies RB35, who has put in a request to resign and is leading an elephant transaction. For the uninitiated, an elephant transaction is one that brings in ate least c. US$10m of revenues. That means a lot of senior management oversight and RB35 is right smack in the spotlight with no way of shunning it :)
The irony of it all is that I'm halfway through the door, but I'm still leading an elephant deal, and I'm not lessening any effort to get the transaction through. In fact, I'm multiplying my efforts and doubling down on the process, rolling with the punches and trying to push for the appropriate economic landing.
Ah - the travails that accompany certain inherent character traits. And you know what? These 4 weeks have reinforced the notion that I'm doing the right thing. That I want to forge a better path for myself and investment banking is not the right path for me. Coupled with the palpable relief that I felt ex-communication of leaving desires to my bosses, this transmutes to a sense that of.... absolute liberation at this time.
A feeling of liberation even though I've been working non stop day in day out since the end of April. And that feels pretty sweet, like the taste of tangerine nectar on a hot summer day.
I don't know when exactly my last day of running this investment banking gig will be, but I sure am excited for what is to come thereafter. And that is, like what I mentioned to a confidante last Sunday, a blank slate where I can draw whatever I want to draw :)
F.I.R.E - here I come!